


What Do You Need?

by startrekkingaroundasgard



Series: Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2019/20 [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Drinking, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Femslash, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Polyamory, Pre-Poly, References to Depression, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24755953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekkingaroundasgard/pseuds/startrekkingaroundasgard
Summary: After a terrible mission, Pepper and Maria keep the reader company and stop them from falling off the rails.
Relationships: Maria Hill/Reader, Pepper Potts/Reader, maria hill/reader/pepper potts
Series: Ladies of Marvel Bingo 2019/20 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609546
Comments: 3
Kudos: 47





	What Do You Need?

The darkness was peaceful. It surrounded you, a comfortable weight on your shoulders, and blocked out the visions of suffering and pain and death. You saw their twisted faces whenever you closed your eyes but you could throw yourself into the void of the night and be free from the harsh screams and desperate pleas for a few hours. 

You’d always liked it up here. The new Stark Industries tower looked out across the city, a perfect, distanced view of the world below. Whenever you met with Pepper, you always insisted it be up here in her office. Something about the view helped keep the often terrible things you did in the name of freedom in perspective. 

You weren’t surprised when she showed up; after all, this was her office and every inch was covered by hidden cameras (not so well hidden that you weren’t able to see them, though). She took one look at you, curled up in the corner, cheek pressed against the cool glass window and sighed. This wasn’t the first time she’d found you like this and it probably wouldn’t be the last. 

What was surprising was her company. Agent Hill followed behind the redhead and closed the door behind them. They didn’t say anything, simply took a seat either side of you and waited. Their joint presence was surprising given that Pepper wasn’t officially affiliated with SHIELD. You knew her well through an old connection with Tony and a short but intense fling when they split but weren’t sure how Maria fit into the picture, aside from perhaps being your field partner. 

However, after everything, Pepper had taken on a far more active relationship with the agency so you supposed you shouldn’t be surprised that the two women were on good terms. Of course she would know to bring in the only other person you trusted entirely in the world. 

Pepper funded a lot of relief work and had, on a few occasions, jumped into the field herself as Rescue to assist where she could with mass evacuations. You admired her steel and resolve; with everything that she’d lost, you didn’t know how she could possibly get out of bed in the morning, let alone thrive the way she had. No doubt Maria felt the same. 

“Don’t suppose you brought vodka?” you asked, kicking the empty bottle with your foot. Silly of you to think that one bottle would be enough to numb you to the pain. It usually took at least two of the shitty stuff, the paint stripper that poor students drank, to make a dent; a serious flaw in the implants, in your opinion. Sure, the heightened senses and improved stamina were great but the way it broke down toxins - alcohol included - was at times like this annoying, and expensive, as hell. 

“I think you’ve probably had enough already,” Pepper said gently. She pulled a tissue from her purse and cupped your face, wiping away the tear stains on your cheek. They’d long since dried but you still felt shame at being found in such a weak, pathetic state. “Want to talk about it?”

You shook your head. That was definitely the last thing you wanted right now. You could still feel the crushing weight of the building around you, the dust clinging to your skin and the sharp acidic fumes burning your lungs. The screams of innocents as you fought your way through the rubble, too slow to reach them in time, too late to stop the tower from collapsing on them all. 

Stop the HYDRA bot and protect the civilians. That was the mission. You’d failed on both accounts. The robot had tossed you aside like a piece of paper and your attempts to hack its systems had failed spectacularly. All you’d succeed in doing was sending on a rampage through the lower city, pissing off the sentient software and causing more damage than it could possibly have done on its own. People had died and it was your fault. Again. 

“What do you need from us?” Maria asked. Her tone was stern, commanding an answer. She always had been the only one able to cut through to you in these moods. It was why you made such good partners on and off the field. Never judgemental, Maria would help you in whatever way you needed whether it was supplying booze, rough and brutal sex against the barracks walls or a long night of soft embraces and gentle words. In return, you did the same for her. 

While letting go of the horrors of the day to the tune of lustful whispers and amazing orgasms was a sincerely tempting idea, especially with these two gorgeous women, you knew that what you really needed just to forget. Your gaze flickered to the empty bottle of vodka and Maria understood perfectly. 

Prepared for every occasion, she pulled a flask from her coat pocket and passed it over. The metal flask was rusted around the cap, scratched and dented from years of mistreatment but still a comforting weight in your hand. It had saved Maria’s life more times than she could remember in one way or another - protected her from bullets, warmed her on freezing nights, knocked out a good few villains that thought they knew better. Tonight, it would save you too. 

“Asgardian,” she warned. 

You smiled back, as if there were anything remotely fun about the situation, and twisted it open, the sharp bite hitting you straight away. The burn was immediate as the poison coated your tongue and spread through your body like fire under your skin. It was a struggle to breathe but absolutely worth it as it cleansed you of your sins - or at least made them easier to bear. The drink of warrior gods, indeed. 

Slumping against Pepper’s side, she pulled you closer and gently drew her nails up and down your arm in an incredibly relaxing motion. She and Maria spoke of general nothings: gossip from around their respective offices, which flavour pie was Morgan’s favourite, who they wanted to win the latest so-called talent shows… Things that didn’t matter at all but provided a stabilising soundtrack as you drowned the awful memories. 

“I should have done better.”

Both Pepper and Maria shuffled in closer around you, their bodies warm and solid against you. It was grounding, rather than restrictive. It kept you in the moment and stopped you from floating away on a distant train of thought which would inevitably drag you back into the shadows. 

Stroking your arm, Pepper said soothingly, “You did everything you could, sweetheart.”

“I’m capable of so much more.”

“Yeah, you are,” Maria agreed. “But none of that would have been helpful today. Running faster, jumping further, wouldn’t have saved those people. That building was going down regardless. You have to think of the ones you did get out. HYDRA are to blame for the loss of life. Not you.”

“I should have stopped for ice-cream." 

The women exchanged confused glances so you explained, "There was a cute dessert parlour on the highstreet. If I had stopped for a ninety-nine I would have been nearer the building. I could have gotten in there sooner, saved more people.”

Maria laughed, unable to help herself. Like you, she’d been through her fair share of dreadful days and was able to find humour in the darkest of places. It was the only way to survive. She squeezed your hand and said, “I assure you that all you would have done was drop it on the ground and ruin it.”

“What flavour would you choose?” Pepper asked, shooting Maria a look that could have separated an army. It suddenly became clear to you why the pair got on so well; they were equally as calm and terrifying as each other. “Personally I think mint chocolate chip is the best.”

Taking another sip from the flask, you frowned when you found it empty. You dropped it back in Maria’s lap and sighed. The Asgardian ale had definitely taken the edge off and you felt like you were drifting. Not quite on a cloud, more like floating a few feet off the ground but it gave you the distance you needed. 

Exhausted, your head lolled onto Pepper’s shoulder, the sweet smell of her perfume surrounding you. It brought back many good memories of your time together. You found her hand and squeezed softly, repeating the action with Maria too. A wordless thank you for their company, for keeping you from doing something stupid.

Your heavy eyes drooped shut. “I like vanilla.”

“Vanilla ice cream? Seriously?” You couldn’t see Maria’s disappointment but heard it loud and clear. “All the flavours in the world and you pick plain and boring vanilla?”

“Not the good stuff,” you said, fighting to stay awake. It was harder with each second, the numbness too tempting to even consider fighting. Hitting Pepper’s knee, you mumbled, “That place… With all the pizza…”

“You mean Italy?”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s the one. They had great vanilla ice cream.”

Pepper laughed, soft and sweet compared to Maria’s, but both brought a sleepy smile to your face. She pressed a soft kiss to your forehead and said, “Get some sleep, sweetheart.”

You jolted upright but immediately fell back against her shoulder. “Don’t want to. Nightmares…”

“We’ll be right here,” Maria promised. “Whatever you need.”

Knowing you weren’t alone wouldn’t stop the nightmares but it made the prospect of waking up so much easier. You were safe in their arms and they would drag you out of the shadows when you needed them most. The love of two great women wouldn’t purge the darkness from your mind but it would certainly make it easier to bear.


End file.
